


Something Wicked

by TheLovelyLadyAuthor



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, M/M, Magic, Magic-Users, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-30 20:25:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19410751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLovelyLadyAuthor/pseuds/TheLovelyLadyAuthor
Summary: Edward Nygma thinks its wise to steal a spellbook from a sorceress, and then insult her to her face. He also thinks its a good idea to pull your best friend in front of you to block a magic spell from said sorceress.





	1. Edward's Something Wicked

The moon was high in the sky during the night that Edward and Jonathan had decided to travel to Shadowcrest, a city in San Francisco that the good sorceress Zatanna guarded.

Normally, the two of them would have never thought of going there, but, Edward as always, sought more knowledge, and Zatanna’s spell book promised that and more, which was something the ever notorious Riddler couldn’t resist.

Unfortunately, he had to drag his oh-so-reluctant best friend along with him, much to Jonathan’s obvious dismay.

“You know, they do have books in Gotham.” Jonathan grumbled, running after his green clad friend, before pressing himself against a wall as Edward did so in front of him, and taking off his mask so he could look around the area better.

They both knew Zatanna was close behind them, or somewhere nearby, and Edward wasn’t planning on giving up the book he had, in his opinion, honestly acquired.

“Are you being intentionally dense, Jonathan?” Edward snapped, glancing back at the other man.

“Huh?” Jonathan feigned stupidity, mustering up the most brain dead look he could muster, just to piss off Edward, who, unfortunately for Jonathan, merely ended up chuckling at his friend’s face.

Jonathan scowled and crossed his arms over his chest, grumbling lightly as he leaned back against the wall, before his eyes widened as someone levitated to the ground in front of the two rogues.

“I don’t believe it’s Crane who’s being dense today, Riddler,” Zatanna smirked, placing her hands on her hips as her feet met the ground, causing Jonathan and Edward to exchange looks. “Oh, and because I know you’re thinking about it, just know your asses will be on the ground so fast if you try and move.”

“This book is better off in my hands, witch! I deserve all the knowledge it will provide, after all, how could I not? I’m me!” Edward snapped, causing Jonathan to roll his eyes.

“I know you’re egotistical and cocky, but, you need to relax,” Jonathan criticized lightly, to which Edward threw a glare at his dark haired friend. “Well, you do.”

“Your friend is right. Besides, what makes you think you’ll be able to use the knowledge in that book?”

“Oh please, because I’m Edward Nigma,” Edward smirked, holding the book against his chest with a triumphant smirk, while Jonathan shook his head. “I’m the most intelligent being on the planet. It’d be able to comprehend it much better than you anyways.”

“…and what makes you think that?” Zatanna raised a dark eyebrow, peering at Nigma questioningly, to which Edward chuckled lightly.

“Because I’m me… and you’re, well… you’re a woman!”

Zatanna’s eyes widened while Jonathan slapped a hand to his face.

“What’s that supposed to mean? What about being a woman would possibly mean I’d have a smaller chance of comprehending that information than you?!” Zatanna growled, a fire behind her eyes that only Jonathan seemed to notice, as Edward was still bearing a smug smile.

“Come on, Edward, quit while you’re ahead… oh who am I kidding you’re not even ahead, you’re digging your own grave.” Jonathan mumbled, but Edward blatantly ignored him.

“It’s simple really,” Edward stated, ignoring John’s mumble of ‘no it fucking isn’t’. “Women just aren’t as competent as men, we’re the superior gender. Well, I’m the most superior out of men, but men in general are more intelligent and overall better than women. It’s just a fact, right, Jonathan?”

“No, I am not saying anything at all in this conversation. Have you never heard the saying 'Hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn’, Edward?”

“I have, but, what’s she going to do anyways. Not only is she a woman, but she’s also a hero, the only thing she’d be able to do is send us back to Arkham!”

“Oh no,” Zatanna spoke up, causing the attention of the two men to turn to her, now levitating slightly in the air, rage in her eyes. “I have something else in mind before I send you misogynistic bastards back to prison.”

Jonathan was about to attempt to defend himself, as he had said nothing in agreement to Edward, but was silenced as Zatanna raised her wand at Riddler, a furious look in her eyes.

“ _Wohs mih tahw s'ti ekil ot eb a mamow!_ ”

Though the two rogues didn’t know what her words meant, Edward figured that it was best to attempt to avoid danger, and in doing so, he grabbed the closest thing to him, pulling it in front of him like a shield.

That closest thing, however, happened to be Jonathan… and that was Edward’s something wicked.


	2. Hell Hath No Fury

Everything was deadly silent for a moment, as Edward peeked out from behind Jonathan to peer over at the surprised looking Zatanna.

“Hah! Missed me!” Edward shouted gleefully, smirking at his so called cleverness.

“She only missed you because you pulled me in front of you… what is wrong with my voice?!” The feminine sounding exclamation came from the form of Jonathan standing in front of Edward, who was still clutching onto Jonathan’s shoulders.

It was at that moment that Edward really looked at Jonathan, and his dark blue eyes widened.

Standing where Jonathan had been, there was now a woman, slightly shorter than Edward, with long, dark brunette hair and stunning blue eyes hidden behind frames that looks a bit too big for her face. She was wearing Jonathan’s costume but… clearly not Jonathan.

Edward stared at her with wide eyes. He couldn’t help but admire the exotic beauty of her, even as she stood, clutching her throat with a rather horrified look.

The woman looked down, and Edward did too, before his face flushed and he adverted his eyes up, realizing that the costume this woman was wearing was Jonathan’s shirtless one.

The woman grabbed the rope that held the pants up and tightened it, keeping the loose waist from falling off her slender frame, before pulling the patchwork covering her shoulders down to hide her… upper assets.

“What have you done to me?!” She screamed angrily, turning on Zatanna, who was watching with her hand over her mouth, entertainment in her eyes.

“I didn’t mean to, Crane! I was trying to hit him!” She exclaimed, pointing to Edward, who looked at the brunette woman in shock.

“Wait, what? Jonathan?” Edward stared, to which the brunette threw him a furious look.

“Of course it’s me, you asshole! What did you think?!” She screeched, before whirling around to see that five other Justice League members had shown up.

Now, Zatanna, Batman, Green Lantern, Superman, Black Canary, and Green Arrow had them pinned in the alley.

“We heard your alarm when your book was stolen, figured with someone clever enough to steal that, you might need some backup,” Black Canary informed her, before raising an eyebrow at Edward and Jonathan. “Who’s the temperamental little one in Scarecrow’s costume?”

“I am Scarecrow, you deranged harpy! That blasted witch tried to do this to Edward, and that douchebag,” She shot a deadly look at Edward, who shied away. “Pulled me in front of him! I didn’t even do anything to her! I was dragged into it by Edward!”

At this point, it was Zatanna, Green Lantern, Black Canary, and Green Arrow, who couldn’t contain their laughter, while Batman and Superman exchanged slightly amused looks.

“Stop laughing, you cretins!” Scarecrow ordered shrilly, holding a hand to her throat at the sound of her own, feminine voice, before pointing a finger at Zatanna. “I demand you change me back at once!”

“I will change you back once Edward apologizes to me for his misogynistic comments and admits that women are equal, if not sometimes, more intelligent that men!”

At Zatanna’s words, the brunette woman turned to Edward with an expectant look, but was met by the ever so stubborn look of The Riddler.

“Absolutely not! I stand by what I said, I will not apologize or admit anything!” Edward exclaimed, crossing his arms over his chest.

The members of the Justice League watched in bated breath as the now female Jonathan stared at Edward in pure shock, before her face contorted into anger and she lunged for Ed’s throat.

“I will kill you!” She growled, tackling him to the ground and pinning him, her hands locked around his throat while he choked for air.

She was ripped off of him by Batman, who handcuffed the struggling woman before removing his cape and tying it around her upper body, causing her to flush in embarrassment.

“I don’t need that!”

“Oh, believe me, you need it,” Green Arrow laughed at Scarecrow’s words, causing her to growl angrily at him. “Ooh, the little lady is so scary!”

Black Canary and Zatanna turned to Green Arrow, both throwing him death glares.

“Would you like me to do the same to you?” Zatanna inquired, raising an eyebrow, crossing her arms while Black Canary did the same.

“Women can be scary, Arrow.” Canary informed him, giving him a smug look.

“Right, women can be scary,” He agreed, before looking over at Batman, who had Scarecrow cuffed, and Green Lantern, who had Riddler bound by green chains. “Carry on.”

Using his ring to carry them, Green Lantern charted Batman and the two rogues back to Gotham City, leaving the others - Zatanna with her spell book once more in her possession - to return to their own cities.

When Green Lantern dropped the three off at the Gates of Arkham Asylum, Batman pushed the Scarecrow and the now cuffed Riddler to walk.

The furious brunette turned to her green clad companion with the deadliest glare ever.

“I am going to kill you, you know that right?” She questioned, to which Edward swallowed nervously, nodding his head.

“Yeah, I… I gathered that.”

Batman allowed himself to smirk, before entering the Asylum behind them.


End file.
